Hannibal The Hairdresser part 1
by HannibalTheHairdresser
Summary: A Hannibal AU fic in which Hannibal is a hairdresser and eat's human hair instead.


Hannibal was in the kitchen/living room on his couch thinking about  
the conversation he'd had with his hairdresser, the TV was on and he was  
eating a homemade pizza with his own "special topping" of old Mozzarella and hair.  
'Hey, we're friends, right?'  
'No, Hannibal, i'm your hairdresser'  
A hairdresser with a hairdresser, what a peculiar thing he thought as he  
cut another slice of pizza and bit off a huge piece, some of the topping  
fell down on his suit and mixed with some of the fuzzy little hairs on it  
it was okay, he liked it that way, it added some nice texture.  
On the TV Seinfeld made another generic joke and Hannibal laughed  
on the outside, on the inside he was crying, he wished he had a friend  
to share this moment with, but not just anyone, like that guy that always  
came by his hair salon trying desperately to be his friend, no he wanted  
someone else. Will, it had to be Will. They way he took his advice  
on the best conditioner to get those beautiful lush curls and the right  
hair dye to get that perfect shade of brown and that trimmer he had  
given him to trim his beard just the right length to accent his perfect cheekbones.  
Hannibal sighed, finished the last of his pizza and went to bed.

The next day:  
Hannibal was standing behind the register when the door opened  
he was hoping it was Will but it wasn't.  
'Hi Hannibal'  
Oh no, not you again, why must you come back time and time again he thought.  
'Hi' he replied in an apathetic tone 'what can i do for you today?'  
'Just thought my edges might need a trimmi, wait, did you change you hair?'  
'Yes' Ugh, doesn't he have eyes to see with.  
'Well then i want you to do my hair like yours!'  
'Fine, go on put the thing on and get in the chair'  
Why must he copy everything i do, he's even started wearing the same suits as me.  
'Hey Hannibal, i have this friend and he's been talking about some really dark things,  
like comb overs and goatees and then brushing it off saying he's just kidding'  
Why are you even here you big stupid waste of space, i wish Will were here instead  
and i was cutting his beautiful curly hair, maybe try out that new imported shampoo.  
The door to the hair salon opened and a man walked in.  
'Tobias?'  
'I came to say good bye, Franklin'  
'What do you mean, oh my god is that hair dye?'  
'I just dyed the hair of two men then i gave them goatees'  
Was he talking about Will, please don't let it be Will, he already had the perfect facial hair  
and hair colour Hannibal thought as he listened to the conversation between the two men.  
Franklin stood up.  
'Tobias, you are really losing your grip, i mean how could you give them goatees,  
you know only douchebags have goatees and damn it Tobias you know you're  
not supposed to dye hair, you're only supposed to sell the hair dye'  
'You need to leave now,' said Hannibal and stared at Tobias.  
'You stay right where you are Franklin,' said Tobias who stared at Franklin.  
'You have done a horrible thing Tobias and i know you wish to god that you didn't  
but you did and there's nothing you can do to change that you can only change  
your future and you're not alone nothing has changed so bad between us that we can't get past'  
Franklin stopped speaking before he had finished his sentence, Hannibal had in one  
fell swoop shaved his entire head causing him to pass out from the shock.  
'Hey, i wanted to shave his head'  
'Well i guess i SHAVED you the trouble', Hannibal laughed at his clever pun.  
Tobias picked up a bottle of hair dye and so did Hannibal, then they started spraying  
each other with really bright brown hair dye. Hannibal almost got some in his hair  
but he managed to get one of the customer's plastic protective covers to shield  
himself with and then he sprayed Tobias all over his head, covering his hair and his face.  
Then he quickly pushed Tobias into one of the seats and rinsed his hair with  
some colour protective shampoo and conditioner and blow dried it on a cool setting.  
Tobias now had light brown hair that went awfully with his eye colour and his skin tone.  
He ran out the door crying and Hannibal laughed triumphantly.  
Just as the door had closed behind him it opened yet again and in walked Will.  
Hannibal stared at him, smiling like a fool, his hair was the same wonderful  
shade of brown as always, Tobias must have meant someone else.  
'Will, i was worried you had dyed your hair the wrong shade of brown'  
Will smiled lovingly at Hannibal who wished he could tell Will about the  
hair dying incident with the other hairdresser.  
He told the customers that it was just an accident but he had really dyed  
the other hairdressers hair brown five shades brighter than needed for Will.  
'Will, do you have any plans tonight?'  
'No,' he said smiling 'why?'  
'I was going to make meatballs with *cough*"spaghetti"*cough* and watch Seinfeld and  
was wondering if you would like to join me, i mean we are friends, right,  
i'm not just your hairdresser?'  
'There's no reason you can't be both Hannibal'  
And so it was that Hannibal got his first friend and in Wills company  
everything seemed better, the hair tasted better, Seinfeld was funnier,  
at last Hannibal was truly content with his life, all because of Will.


End file.
